The Hazardous Week of Extended Family
by Writer's Obsession
Summary: Saiki's cousin and uncle is visiting for a week. The problem? The cousin is too observant for his comfort and the uncle is a superstitious theorist who won't give up on proving that Saiki isn't normal. Add the nuisances that call themselves his friends and what do you get? A big pain and a headache, that's what. Seriously, can't a psychic get a break around here?


**NOTES:**

* This fanfic will have seven chapters.

* Any and all reviews are appreciated and will be responded to.

* Guests, please name yourselves something if you review, as to clear up any confusion.

* * *

 **Day 1**

* * *

"Dad," I warn from the front seat, "You just missed our turn."

"Did I? I thought they lived on this street. You sure?" Dad is still driving in the wrong direction, passing parked cars and almost identical looking houses.

"As sure as you are of Big Foot," I reply dryly, shooting him a look. We've been driving for eight hours already -and I'd really rather end the long road trip. I tuck my long dyed crimson hair behind my ear and check the clock. Make that eight hours n' a half.

"Hey! Big Foot _does_ exist; I'll have you know!" Dad protests. Nonetheless, he makes a U-turn with the help of someone's driveway.

I roll my eyes but don't bother responding. _"It's just a western fairy tale,"_ I'd normally counter, but I'm not in a argumentative mood. Why the long road trip, you ask? Well, for a week in summer vacation we'll be visiting my cousin, Kusuo, and his parents. (My Dad is his Dad's twin.) If I'm being honest however, I find Kusuo strange. I mean, I don't have anything against him or anything, but it still doesn't change the fact that he's odd.

I, having a Father such as my own, saying that makes it really mean something.

For one thing, Kusuo almost never speaks. When I was a kid I actually thought he was mute. But his Mom and the fact that he doesn't do sign language convinced me otherwise. Also, he's constantly wearing these bulky hair clips and green-tainted glasses. I can't remember a single moment in which he isn't sporting either the most uninteresting expression ever, or the most deadpanned one. Lastly, the way he simply _stares_ at me causes goose bumps to run along my arms. It's as if he knows what I'm thinking, or looking into my soul or whatever.

It really doesn't help that _something_ always happens either with or around Kusuo that sends Dad into a superstitious frenzy. Like, that time as kids when my uncle was complaining about a horrible stomach pain and begged Kusuo to 'kiss it better.' Uncle immediately stopped complaining afterwards, and while that situation can easily be written off as a parent playing with their kid, it doesn't explain why Uncle threw up the day after when Kusuo wouldn't kiss him better a second time. Another example would be the time I was here. We had planned to go to the beach, but out of nowhere a angry storm had appeared. The weather man predicted that the storm would last until well after tomorrow, but then in the next minute it suddenly disappeared! And when I glanced over to Kusuo, he was dripping wet.

Not to mention how my Dad's gadgets and 'supernatural hunting' machines go high-wire at random times around Kusuo. Is that not freaky?

 _Oh, God,_ I realize, _I'm starting to sound like my Dad!_ Next I'll be sprouting about how demons and monsters stalk the night. I give Dad a sidelong glance, deciding that maybe I've been hanging around him too much. His craziness is starting to seep into _me._ I wonder if that's when Mom made up her mind about leaving him.

It takes us ten minutes until we're at the house. My Aunt is waiting at the front door. "Hello, Erika!" she greets warmly as she gives me a brief hug.

"Hey, Auntie Kurumi," I smile back. I swear she's the only normal one in this crazy family. "How have you been?"

"Just great, thank you!" Aunt chirps. She turns her head back and says, "Kuu! Come help Erika and your uncle move their stuff inside!"

A few seconds later my pink-haired cousin walks down the stairs. He nods at me politely and goes to the car's trunk.

 _Seems like he hasn't changed,_ I muse. I take the toiletries bag into the bathroom while the others hurl suitcases into the guest room. The guest room actually used to be Kusuo's older brother's, Kusuke, but he hasn't lived here for years. Thank God, too, because I can't stand the guy.

When I go back down stairs I see my Dad wasting no time in 'protecting' the house, and the people in it by extension, by putting talismans on every window and door outside. Honestly, I've tried to tell him that it's a waste of money, because the person he buys them from looks pretty shady, but he'll never listen. I shake my head and go looking for Kusuo. Dad can get his many machines and gadgets himself. The bulky things takes up 60% of the car space, I swear.

I find Kusuo in the living room, watching some drama. I sit down besides him. "Hey," I say. I'm not surprised that I don't get a response, and the silence between us is comfortable. Kusuo and I look pretty similar for the most part, excluding the hair and the fact that my eyes are amber of course. I'm also very tall for a Japanese girl, being 175cm. (5'7 ft.) My height is due to my European Mom, who lives in Canada.

Meowing and hissing bring my gaze downwards, towards my feet. "Oh, I didn't know you guys got cats," I comment and lean forward. The white cat is meowing for my attention while the orange one angrily hisses and swipes at the white one. I carefully pick up the white one and the cat settles in my lap. I smile and stoke him(?). The cat has really soft fur. "Are the cats boys or girls? Or both?" I inquire. "What are their names?" _Aren't you a cutie?_ I coo at the white cat, which surprisingly seems to piss off the orange one.

Kusuo gives the orange cat a sidelong glance, lips thinning in displeasure, before returning to his show. I actually jump when he speaks. "The orange one isn't ours. He isn't allowed in here because Mom is allergic. The white one doesn't have a gender because Kusuke created him for Mom. He's called Warp."

I blink. For a split second I think Kusuke is now playing with biology, but then I realize that the white cat in a _machine._ "I see," is the only thing I can say. Suddenly 'Warp' doesn't seem all that cute anymore, and it has nothing to do with the bolts and everything to do with his creator. I wouldn't put it past Kusuke to make Warp so that he could spy on people, the creep. I push Warp off my lap. "Should I take the orange cat outside, then? How did he even get in here?" I wonder. The cat in question is by the Tv, licking his paw and watching Warp bristly.

Kusuo doesn't answer my question but does nod. So I get up and approach the orange one warily. I'd like to avoid getting scratched, thank you ever so much. I almost laugh when the cat stares at me before turning his nose upwards haughtily. "Hey there, little guy," I try to sooth him. I pick up the orange cat and walk to the front door. After closing the door, effectively trapping the complaining cat outside, I go and wash my hands. I don't want to be the cause of Auntie's's allergic reaction.

When I get back to Kusuo, my Dad has taken my spot and is trying to scan Kusuo with one of is supernatural tracking devices. I wince, groaning inwardly. _Why can't I have a normal Dad? And poor Kusuo._ Dad is so sure that Kusuo isn't completely human, which is the main reason why he wanted us the visit. Sure, Kusuo isn't _normal,_ or a _typical_ guy, but isn't nonhuman going a tad far?

I wouldn't be surprised, nor blame him, if Kusuo dreads our visits because of this.

"Dad, leave Kusuo alone!" I say with my hands on my hips.

Dad gives me a chastising look. "Erika-"

"No," I glower and take his device away before Dad can blink. "You do this _every damn year,_ and haven't found a _shred_ of proof yet! Why can't we just a normal visit for once?"

Dad narrows his eyes at me and pushed his glasses up. "I _do_ have proof, and you know it. Now give it back."

I snort. Sure, I know my Dad has a file and charts containing 'proof' of Kusuo's 'nonhuman' qualities and moments, but none of it is truly believable to anyone not crazy like Dad is. Besides, most of it can't really be tied to Kusuo in the first place. Like that Christmas party when the punch bowl exploded right after Kusuo received shocking news. Kusuke had admitted to causing the explosion but Dad doesn't believe it. Another time Dad swears that he saw Kusuo levitate his bed, yet with no evidence of it. Dad hadn't slept the night before because he was working on a 'ground breaking' discovery. That discovery ended up being a couple of teenagers pulling a prank on fools, my Dad being included.

"Niko! Where do you want this?" Uncle Kuniharu suddenly enters the living room, arms shaking with the strain of carrying one of Dad's huge and bulky machines.

"Oi! Be careful with that!" Dad barks and rushes to help steady it. "Do you have any idea how expensive this is? You can't just find a ghost repeller anywhere, you know! Come on, this needs to go upstairs."

And so together the two men slowly carry it upstairs.

I turn to Kusuo, who is already staring at me. "Sorry about my Dad, again," I grimace. "But we're only staying for a week, so it shouldn't be too bad as long as you're out of the house."

Kusuo nods in understanding, and that's as far as our conversation goes. We watch another episode of Kusuo's drama, and I'm _just_ starting to get a grasp of the show when the doorbell rings. Did I just see Kusuo slouch and sink deeper into the couch, with a distasteful expression?

 _Wow, I've only been here for two hours and already I've seen more emotion in Kusuo than I have in the past!_ I inspire to one day have a poker face as strong as his.

"Oh, hello! Are you looking for Kuu?" I hear Auntie Kurumi ask at the front door.

I perk up and strain to overhear. _Since when does the anti-social Kusuo have friends?_

"Yeah," a deep voice agrees. "I'm going to eat some ramen."

"That's nice. I'm sure Kuu will be happy to hang out. He's been inside almost for a whole week, you know."

Glancing at Kusuo, I'd have to disagree on the 'happy' part.

"Oh! And Kuu's cousin, Erika, is staying for a few days. Maybe the three of you can go together!" Auntie adds joyfully. "Kuu! Erika! There's someone here for you!"

Very much curious, I follow Kusuo to where his Mom and the mysterious guy is. When I spot said mysterious guy, my jaw drops in mild shock.

 _T-That's some butt-chin!_ The guy is abnormally tall, taller than me (which doesn't happen often) with a scar on his right eye, and sporting a unique buzzed cut with a yellow mohawk, but by far the most noticeable trait the guy has is his chin. It's like he has two tennis balls underneath his skin! I'm so entranced with his appearance that it takes me a second to realize that he's speaking.

"Hey, buddy's cousin, I'm Nendou Riki."

I blink. "Ah, yeah, hi. I'm Saiki Erika," I reply lamely. But seriously, can you blame me? That chin! _Is Kusuo truly friends with this guy?_ Almost immediately I'm ashamed of myself. I shouldn't judge Nendou-san so harshly, seeing as we've only said two sentences to each other. People can't help they're look. _Even if it_ is _freaky._ I shake away my rudeness and try for a smile. _"_ So you said something about ramen?"

Nendou-san nods. "Yeah, wanna tag along?"

I glance at Kusuo to see if he's okay with it, but I get the impression that he's simply resigned to his fate. So I shrug and agree. It's not like I have anything better to do, and it is about lunchtime anyways.

And so we leave the house and begin our walk. I don't remember where any ramen shops are so I walk beside them and follow.

"So, Nendou-san," I start. "Are you and Kusuo classmates?" Now that I'm over the shock of his appearance I'm curious on how they became friends.

"Yup!" He looks at me then, and his eyes grow momentarily wide. It's as if he's seeing me for the first time, now that I'm right besides him. "Wow, you're tall for a girl. You're like only two inches shorter then me!" Nendou-san grins excitedly.

That's new. Most people are only surprised at my height, not excited. I give him a strained smile. "Yeah, I get that a lot. And before you ask, I'm 175cm. My Mom is European. And no, I don't play basketball. I do however practice Judo." Have been since I was eight.

"So you're all like -HI-YEAH!" Nendou-san strikes a pose with his left hand chopping the air.

And now I'm a touch annoyed. "No, that's karate. Judo is different with takedowns and quickly submitting opponents."

"Oh."

 _What's with the sudden depression!?_

"So, ah, do _you_ play any sports?" I fish for something to say. "You seem like someone who plays basketball or football."

"Nah," is all he says simply. "I like to catch bugs instead."

 _Well, then. Now what? Wait, did Kusuo just shiver?_ Seems odd in this suffocating heat. I'm certainly thankful that I decided to wear my plum hue tank-top with jean short-shorts, and of course my black flats.

Nendou-san starts chatting about random nonsense, Kusuo remaining silent, and I'm just starting to wonder if Nendou-san is an idiot (because seriously, who on earth would think that hitting a wasp's nest with a broom is a good idea?) when we arrive at the ramen shop. The shop is blissfully cool with AC blasting and it doesn't take us long to find a table and order. But to be honest, I'd rather be having ice cream or something else equally cold.

"Saiki? Is that you?" A beautiful blue-haired girl speaks up, looking directly at Kusuo before flickering to Nendou-san and lastly me. She stands at the entrance before walking up to the front of our table.

Nendou-san blushes. "Oh, wow. Hey, Teruhashi."

I ignore the prick of jealousy at her perfectly smooth and pale skin, and smile. "Hello, I'm Saiki Erika, Kusuo's cousin."

"Nice to meet you, Saiki-san. I'm Teruhashi Kokomi. I'm in Saiki's class," she smiles brightly.

I wince as everyone collectively realizes the current problem with names. "Um, I don't mind if you call me Erika-san," I tell both Teruhashi-san and Nendou-san. Sure, it's a bit uncomfortable with strangers calling me by my first name, but it's better than the future misunderstandings.

Teruhashi-san nods. "Do you guys mind if I join?"

"No! Of course not," Nendou-san speaks for all of us and makes room beside him. "There's lots of room!"

Teruhashi-san slides herself by my side, and I'm amused by Nendou-san's disappointed expression. "Do you live nearby, Erika-san? Or are you just visiting?" she asks me politely.

"Just visiting," I answer. "I'll only be here for a week, though." I wonder if she's also friends with Kusuo? I inwardly snort. _Talk about having friends in different social groups._

The male waiter bring us our steaming bowls of noodles, and blushes and stares wide-eyed at Teruhashi-san.

"Can I have a bowl, too, please?" she says, never dropping that smile of hers.

"O-Of course!" the waiter stampers and scurries away.

I give Teruhashi-san a sideways glance, deciding that there's no way she can't be unaware of her affect on others. But so far she doesn't seem arrogant, which is nice.

"Hey, do you guys want to get some ice cream afterwards?" I suggest, and Kusuo visibly perks up. I hide my smirk, since I knew full well that he would. Kusuo just seems so uninterested in this meal that I want to do something about it. Agreements ring throughout the table. We eat for a few minutes before I can no longer hold back my question. "Teruhashi-san, do you model?" Because really, she would make a killing.

"Oh, no. But it's nice that you think I should," she replies sweetly. Her eyes flicker to Kusuo.

 _I didn't technically say that,_ I inwardly grumble. Really, it's unfair that she can look _that_ good without any make-up. _Hey, maybe she's a horrible cook or has a horrible singing voice? Possibly picks her nose and eats her boogers?_ I shake my head to get rid of my seeds of resentment. _Chill, Erika. She's hot, so what? It's not like her looks makes you ugly._

I've found that Nendou-san and I have nothing in common, and Kusuo is simply anti-social, so I decide to make conversation with Teruhashi-san again. "Do you like to read?"

Teruhashi-san nods. "Sometimes. I enjoy the paranormal novels."

 _Nope! Reading that kind of material is a death sentence in my family._ Seriously, my Dad will either rant for hours about how the story is incorrect, or go all superstitious theorist/hunter for _days._ There is no in between. God forbid that it's a romance and he thinks that I'm suddenly getting the hots for bloodsuckers. "Cool," I grin. "Personally, I really love historical-fiction. Do you have any other hobbies?"

"I also enjoy singing and drawing."

I slurp my noodles before saying, "I can't draw if my live depends on it. I'm good at Judo, though."

"That's so cool," Teruhashi-san praises, and I can't help but feel good. "I don't think I could ever be good at that," she adds.

I find myself reassuring her before I realize it. "It all takes practice, just like drawing and singing. I'm sure you'd be great in time. You know what? Maybe we can sign up for a class together. I saw a sign that said that the local gym will be hosting one on Thursday." _Wow, where did that come from? I just met the girl._ Then again... Judo is very useful for self-defense, and someone like Teruhashi-san will most probably need a few lessons in order to protect herself.

"Thank you, I'll think about it," she concedes. The waiter comes back with Teruhashi-san's bowl and she thanks him. Part of me is worried that he'll faint with all the blood rush.

"Hey, maybe I can come too!" Nendou-san comments excitedly.

I can't stop my grimace. _Please God, don't let that happen._

After our hot meal we pay and hunt down a ice cream shop. My hair is sticking to my back, and I just know what I'm going to need a shower when Kusuo and I get back to his house. "Teruhashi-san, do you have a hair band that I can borrow?" I ask. And by borrow, I really mean keep 'cause I forgot all of mine back home.

She does.

"Thanks," I murmur as I tie my thick hair into a low pony-tail. It makes the heat a little bit more bearable, at least.

When we get to the ice cream shop we unfortunately find a mile long line as well.

"Seriously?!" I exclaim. Nendou-san, Kusuo, and I are ready to give up because like _hell_ we're waiting in at line up, but then Teruhashi-san walks up to the guys that are nearest to the entrance.

"Do you guys mind if my friends and I skip ahead of you?" she fluttered her eyelashes.

 _No way are they going to-_

"Of course not!" one of them says. "Right, guys?"

"N-No, we don't mind at all," another one reassures Teruhashi-san.

My jaw drops, but I don't waste anytime in dragging Kusuo and Nendou-san towards Teruhashi-san. The guys who complied seems put-off with Nendou-san and Kusuo, but don't utter a complaint. "You," I declare to Teruhashi-san, "are either the devil or an angel. I don't know which one yet, but either way I'm taking you with me next time I go shopping."

Teruhashi-san laughs, but I'm dead serious. The power that this girl possess is freaky, but hella useful. My Dad would probably call her a witch or siren.

I end up getting strawberry, Teruhashi-san get's chocolate, Nendou-san get's a favour called tiger ("Hehe, I wonder if they put real tiger in the ice cream.." he had said) while Kusuo get's a new coffee one. No surprise, there. We find a shady spot nearby on the sidewalk and eat our treat.

"This is pure heaven," I claim as the sweetness melts on my tongue and cools my throat. The others agree. I check my phone's clock and am taken off guard with how much time has passed. I had thought that it's only been three hours but it's actually been five. "Hey, Kusuo, we should probably head back after this."

Kusuo looks at my phone and nods in agreement.

Nendou-san suddenly smacks Kusuo on the back, hard, knocking him forward. "fly."

I blink as Kusuo, looking mildly annoyed, straightens himself. I swear that Kusuo's ice cream had fallen off it's cone a second ago. I shrug. _Whatever, obviously I'm mistaken._

"I'll back back tomorrow!" Nendou-san calls after Kusuo and me, as we're going our different ways. I don't respond to him.

When Nendou-san and Teruhashi-san are far enough that they can't over hear, I tell Kusuo, "well, Nendou-san is a...unique guy. He's just so..." I struggle with the right words to describe someone like him.

"A noisy idiot?" Kusuo supplies.

"Yeah," I chuckle. "He doesn't really seem like the type of person you would hang out with." I gotta wonder, because while Nendou-san isn't mean...

Kusuo shoots me his legendary flat look. "He always drags me into things against my will. It's a pain."

I bark out in laughter.

When we get home, the temperature has already dropped a few degrees and the adults are finishing up dinner.

"There you are, Kusuo! Where've you been all this time?" My Dad asks Kusuo.

 _Wow, great to see you too, Dad. Oh, no, don't worry about me! I've only been gone as long as Kusuo has._

"I told you, they were just out with Kusuo's friend," Uncle butts in.

Dad's eyes widen. "Kusuo actually has a friend?" He says incredulity.

I snort and clamp a hand over mouth to muffle my spark of laughter. I thought the same thing, but at least I hadn't said it out loud. _Ouch, that gotta hurt._

Kusuo, however, looks unmoved. When it came clear to Dad that he isn't going to say anything on the matter, he reached into his pant's pocket and brought out a 'holy' beaded necklace.

"I wanted to give you this," Dad explains. "It's a charmed necklace to ward off those pesky onis (1)."

 _Bullshit._

Dad gives me a warning look to stay silent.

Kusuo takes the necklace but doesn't put it on. Dad stares at Kusuo, obviously waiting, so Kusuo begrudgingly humours him. And when nothing unworldly happens afterwards Dad visibly deflates. The necklace is actually suppose to zap anyone with powers, but seeing as he bought it off the internet, what did Dad truly expect? For it to work? Honestly, he embarrasses me sometimes. Scratch that - _all the time._

"That's so nice of you," Aunt chimes, "isn't that right, Kuu?"

Kusuo shrugs.

The adults go upstairs when Dad tries to show then the new demon-trapping net he created. Kusuo goes to the kitchen trash and takes off the necklace. We lock gazes as he drops it into the trash.

I smile, with absolutely no hard feelings. I do that all the time myself.

When I'm getting ready for bed when Warp paws the closed door. Clad in my PJs, I open it and look at the robotic cat warily. "What do you want?" I demand. Warp simply meows before strolling in and jumping up on the bed. "Make yourself at home then, why don't you?" I grumble.

I have a bad feeling about this, but Warp _does_ look so adorable when he curls up and purrs so peacefully. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Because really, doesn't Kusuke have more important matters than watching through the cat? Isn't he studying abroad in England or something? I highly doubt that he'll fly over all the way to Japan just to irritate me. Yet, just to be save...

I take one of my Dad's ties and tie it around Warp's eyes.

The next morning, I get waken up by the noise of the front door slamming shut and a voice saying, "I'm home! Mom, Kusuo, Dottie, Uncle Niko, Dad!"

My eyes snap open as I clutch my blanket tighter, my Dad snoring away besides me.

 _I_ fucking _knew it!_

* * *

(1) 'Oni' is a sort of troll in Japanese folklore.


End file.
